yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
