FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
