went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
