we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
