This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
