Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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