he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
