Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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