yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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