HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
