Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
