I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
