great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
