He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
As shirtless as possible
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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