Umm I'm too high to move.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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