No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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