Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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