I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
