i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
