i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He has the fingertips of a God
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