Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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