Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
