I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
ok first of all what the fuck
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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