She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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