After last night, I could never be a politician.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
