Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
