There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
