Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
