My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
