community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
