if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize