i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
