i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Congratulations! We have a period
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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