Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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