Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize