i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
