I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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