what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize