can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
