From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
