doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
