we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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