Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
