im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize