Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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