o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
