your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
