We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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