Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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