i think i have herpe
just one?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Acid is not a monday night drug
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
