Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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