Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
