We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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