your thong is hanging out like whoa
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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