Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
tell me about the fingering
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