so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
