I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
