Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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