so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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