You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
